10. opry mills mall
9. lifeway's main headquarters
8. nashville zoo
7. the country music hall of fame and museum
6. my house on a singstar night
5. the dirty triad in murfreesboro
4. centennial park arts festival
3. ren fair (if i can stomach going)
2. greer stadium
1. OPRYLAND
today i will be speaking of my second favorite people watching spot: greer stadium. i realize that in my people watching i tend to judge rather harshly. to counteract the guilt and bad karma that i summon from mean and snide comments about the folk that pass in front of me in the stadium, i like to imagine what people say about me. "i think someone has been sipping from the koolaid twist." or "no, i think youre mistaken, thats YOUR girlfriend." or even the ever shameful, yet elegant "get a load-a that dyke." with that being said and (cross fingers) my karma protected for the time being im a gonna move on to the people watching observations.
some of my favorite highlights were:
-the funnel cake thug. he had a smirk on his face that said either "im hot shit. everyone loves funnel cakes. i make this bright yellow shirt look GOOD," or "i stole this shirt and this funnel cake carry rack full of fresh, hot funnel cakes and im gonna get some damn TAIL!"
-the man that looked like our sangin' friend ryan in twenty years. he went on many a beer run so we got many a good luck at him, but, like our sangin' friend ryan, was elusive to our attempts to capture him on the picture maker box.
-dietz's boyfriends: the important security guy with moose knuckle, the sonic the hedgehog female impersonator, and the boy behind us that should have just taken off his shirt.
the best part of the evening were the girls we befriended, well, who befriended us. we were standing in the extra long line for beer and a girl in front of us yelled "HAAAEY," as she struggled to stay standing. amanda and i lost control and giggled because the hey that came out of the girl's mouth was like none we had heard before. she turned around and said "sorry, im half lit," and turned back around. we totally lost it. then her friend came stumblin' up from the bathroom and said "i can believe i lost it. she made is special for me and i lost it." then she look at amanda, dietz, and i and gave us the whole story. i didnt follow it very well, but from what i could gather she signed up for some sort of sweepstakes or contest and susan, the woman who gave her the form and helped her sign her life away, made her a flower out of wire. i found this interesting and took it as a sign from god to use this kind soul as a form of entertainment and way to pass the time in the line for booze.
"i cant believe you lost it. that really sucks."
"i know. she made it special for me it was real pretty and i hung it on my damn sunglasses and it fell off."
"you should get another. thats an important thing."
"i know. it was so pretty. she made it special for me. if i see some bitch wearing it im gonna tell em its mine, dammit."
"i bet susan would make you another. you should ask her. she's really nice."
"im gonna tell her someone stole it."
and our friend headed off to find a new jewel to make her feel special. after the entertainment was thru there was no reason to stand in the franklin road on a sunday traffic jam of a beer line so we headed on a quest for a shorter beer line. bidding our "half lit" friend goodbye we headed off. on our quest we passed the lost jewel girl and heard her do the right thing. "please susan, can you make me another? it was so pretty and special and i lost it." she's going to heaven me's thinks. after we found our booze we headed back to our seats. we sat in peace and continued to be catty and judgmental for a time. it was nice. we saw old ryan a few times, lots of tragic outfits and haircuts, and quite a few memaws and pepaws wandering around with nachos and hotdogs on a stick. "oh, there goes our new friends," i said. amanda chuckled, "i hope they come sit next to me. i like em." i couldnt even formulate response before there they were, sittin right next to amanda. they stayed for a while but lost interest. i like drunk people. you dont have to worry about keeping them entertained.
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